The Urgency and the Beauty

It’s the morning of February 24, 2021.  I am sitting in the cocoon of my bedroom.  iPad on lap.  Heart is broken open. Keenly aware of how this day is different than the others. It’s a day that someone very precious to me left this earthly world to enter a spiritual one. I feel it so deeply.

Life is a short ride that has moments and days that seem to last forever. The joy can be fleeting and the pain endless if I choose that to be my focus. Today…I am making another choice. 

Upon receiving the text from her husband that I have been anticipating for days, I took a deep breath and affirmed my life. I sat and let the wave of pain wash over me. Life anew was beginning and life as I knew it was ending. Then a smile covered my face and I finished my morning devotional.  How could it be so painful and feel so peaceful?

I chose to continue my morning as scheduled. I was choosing to live as my friend would have insisted.  So, I went to have some blood drawn for my annual physical and took myself to breakfast. It seemed frivolous but it felt right. And that’s where I encountered it. The mind bending beauty of presence. As I sat waiting on my almond milk latte and super healthy egg and quinoa bowl, I caught a glimpse of eternity. 

The sun was piercing through the glass and falling gently in patches on the hip natural decor and a smattering of socially distanced patrons. It almost blinded me as I overheard the undistinguishable words of a woman speaking with an accent.  Then there was painted brick and perfectly arranged succulents to delight my eyes. The air was thin and refreshing with aromas of avocados and coffee drinks. I felt apart of this intoxicating scene and the world outside melted away.  I was hollowed out from grief, water and morning meditation writing. I was a clear channel for the intense glory of the here and now. 

The God of my understanding had urgently taken a very precious treasure to be with the heavenly host and left one of her mourners with extreme beauty as a comfort and a promise. That’s the deal with this life. It’s the bitter and the sweet. Wherever I focus my mind will be the part I take into my spirit. 

Being sober with my nutrition and spiritual disciplines allowed me to have space for the ecstasy … as I navigated the agony. And so I will learn to travel this road until it is my time to dance with the angels.  

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